Alright. Bear with me here.

So, I applied to a content creator job with Vayner Media in September because why not. They got back to me pretty quick and asked me to make up content for pumpkins with a 1 day turn around. Pumpkins. Great brief.

Without further ado, this is that content. Enjoy. (

They didn't give me any rules, so I took suggestions on my Instagram Story.

So we started pumpkin partyin' !!

But then somebody asked for Karen

The people wanted names, I gave the people names

Then came the fetishists

What kind of "influencer" would I be if I didn't provide original content? (a popular one! ha!)

And what kind of pumpkin content posting extravaganza would be complete without the smashing of said pumpkins?

Lots of love was had

And I even took all this mess and gave it a good 'ol salesman spin

After some emailing and scheduling, turned out they weren't actually hiring.

Oh well!

I hope you enjoyed all this gourd content.